Hard.

Yesterday was rough. Surprisingly though, I did not go crazy eating wise. I was actually ridiculously awesome considering the amount of stress I was under.
As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, I had all three boys I nanny for yesterday. Typically I have the older two for about an hour in the morning, and then it’s just Ben and I for the rest of my ten hour day.
I have dealt with kids of all ages, sizes, backgrounds, and genders. Never have I ever experienced children who behave as badly as these three together do. Adding a third to the mix really makes a difference. And the only time two is ok is when it’s the youngest, Ben, and one of the oldest. Both of the olde boys? Forget it. From the moment their little devil angel eyes open their bickering begins. Who’s getting a shower first? Who got the red bowl? Who has the other ones Spider-Man toy? Who hit who? Etc. It literally goes on and on and on like this until they’re on the bus.
My entire weekend was constantly sprinkled with the reminder to myself I would have all three come Monday, due to Veterans Day. I just had to block it out of my mind completely.
It was about ten times worse than what I had imagined. I’ve never experienced children who listened worse than these three together. It’s literally as if I do not exist to them. When I’m speaking they 100% ignore me. I have to repeat myself AT A MINIMUM of a dozen times before they will finally look at me, and another dozen before they finally move. How my cousin does it every single day I will never know. I guess the power of a mother’s love is really really strong. Really. I broke down around 10am. I quite literally bawled my eyes out to the point that I couldn’t breathe. Thankfully the three of them were busy trying to kill each other in the front yard so they were unaware of my break down.
Rule # 87 in the nanny code: Do whatever it takes to never let a child see you cry, it breaks their hearts and yours.
I just cried and cried. It wasn’t so much their fault as it was a compounding of being in school full time, working full time for very little pay (far less than what I made at my previous job with a not-yet-talking 1 year old), having a house with three dogs and a man who works so very hard to keep the roof over our heads and never feeling like I’m doing ENOUGH (even though Joey reminds me on a daily basis just how much I DO and how thankful he is, I just beat myself up about not being able to help out financially as well as I had been), along with dealing with these three boys. It just broke me yesterday. I couldn’t handle it, and so I cried like a small child. Joey, the amazing man that he is, fixed it all, like usual. He sweetly calmed me down as much as possible over the phone. He has such a way of balancing out my craziness. Once I cried I felt like a hundred bricks had been lifted off my shoulders. I got a clearer head and even got some homework done while the boys were watching a movie, one of them was napping thank goodness.
My day began at 6am and didn’t end until I walked in the door at almost 10pm. Too many of my days are like this and I’m sorry, but I just won’t ever be okay with that.
I have 6ish more months to go and ill be done with school and able to get a big girl job and be finished with nannying once and for all. It may take me through to summer to find one, but I am determined to do so. Being a nanny is the perfect job to do while going to school. If you watch nap-taking aged children it’s even better, because you can focus 100% of your time and energy on them while they’re awake and get your stuff done while they sleep. I’ve thankfully always had the pleasure of nannying for children who sleep, or who at least know how to have quiet time, so I’ve been blessed.
I don’t know how people work regular full time jobs and go to school, it’s exhausting just to do this.
Either way, the point in all of this is that I survived yesterday. I came home and the house was spotless, Joey had waited up for me, and all was good and perfect.
Today I only have two boys, as one is sick and staying home, so it’ll be a good day. At least until 1, when the third comes home from early dismissal.
The great thing about all of this is that I have no homework due this week, at all. I just have to make it to Thursday. And then I can have a relaxing and perfect weekend.

Thursday, Thursday, Thursday.

Is it Thursday yet?

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3 thoughts on “Hard.

  1. I have friends that work full time, and go to school taking full course loads. I am always amazed they get it done and do so well at both. Here’s to you getting til the weekend.

  2. You know that thing you posted the other day on fb about how nannying will make you a better mom someday? REMEMBER THAT, because this is the job that I bet will do that the most. You’re so good at what you do, but things that come easy don’t change you – it’s the tough stuff that does. I second what the first commenter said. Keep it up, and seriously, call me if you need a buddy – I’m always here.

    • This is why we became sisters! You’re so right about the easy stuff not making me better, it’s the tough stuff. I’ve never had children challenge me the way these boys do, and it’s certainly going to make me a better parent for it someday. Thank you for that comment!

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