Good or Evil?

I struggle with good and evil on a pretty regular basis. Especially being a nanny. I have my own goals with the children and certainly my own beliefs. I’m probably scoffed at by parents all over who think that I think I know it all. I’m here to tell you I DON’T THINK THAT. There are a few things that I do think I might have a good thought process on, but nothing I think is unconventional or out of this world ground breaking. 

1. SLEEP. Sure, I love the break between 12-3 that a nap provides. But I also love the behavior that comes along with this good rest. I love knowing that the child was well behaved for the parents later on in the day, instead of their usual 6pm temper tantrum. I love knowing that it gave the child a better nights rest because they weren’t over tired. (For the longest time I didn’t understand how being over tired would affect a child’s sleep. I used to think just think that, logically, if they didn’t nap wouldn’t they sleep better, because they’d be so tired? Not true. At all.) I also enjoy the health benefits for children that come from getting a good nights sleep. You can’t argue with that, so I don’t need to explain why.

2. EATING WELL. I always strongly believed in this, even before I was eating well myself. That may seem a bit hypocritical, but I just seeing it as looking out for their well being over my own. I don’t think that treats need to be given everyday, or for every “good” that they do. I don’t think that just because brownies were made together that they all need to be eaten together at every turn. (some of these are personal examples…) Perhaps a cookie packed in a lunch every once in a while is appropriate. Every day? No. Brownies after breakfast? Hell no. Dessert every night? Nope. McDonald’s even once a week? FUCK no. I feel like McDonald’s and all fast food in general, ESPECIALLY FOR CHILDREN, is completely and 100 percent unnecessary. However, to celebrate a “special occasion” or if you really, really, REALLY had no other options that day…then fine. But to me, McDonald’s is an unnecessary evil. It does nothing for a human being except fill them up with fat and grease. I understand that things go haywire sometimes, or you’re running late…but sacrificing a child’s health is a sad consequence of not managing your time well. I don’t think that’s worth it. It may seem harsh, but when in my house as a child if you didn’t eat what was made for dinner…you didn’t eat. A few skipped meals and you realize that broccoli isn’t so bad. I remember one night my mother leaving me in the kitchen in the dark, after everyone had gone to bed because I wouldn’t eat my broccoli. I couldn’t get up until it was finished. I’m pretty sure I never fought broccoli again. Making separate meals for children, after they’re finished eating baby foods of course, is not ok. It only teaches them, in my honest opinion, that they don’t have to eat what you’re eating and that you will always make them whatever they want. They’ll just become accustomed to getting another meal, making you cook two different breakfasts/lunches/dinners. I feel like it also turns children into picky eaters. I’m in no way, shape or form a picky eater. Never have been. I feel that the way my parents raised me is a result of that. I learned to try new foods and not to be afraid of vegetables or something that smelled different. And face it, picky eaters are down right ANNOYING and is completely avoidable. 

3. YES all kids are DIFFERENT, but some things are simply universal. Naps are good for everyone, I don’t care who you are. Eating right is good for everyone. Discipline is good for everyone. Perhaps the WAY you’re disciplining is different, but it should be done consistently either way. Discipline is probably where I’ve noticed children suffer the most. Taking something away from them and telling them it’s gone for x number of minutes/hours/days/weeks, and giving it back at any point beforehand…teaches them nothing. Putting them in time out and allowing them to come out before the allotted time, teaches them nothing. Putting them in time out and then allowing them to go right back to how they were behaving and not repeating the discipline…teaches them nothing. This is all pretty common sense. Right? Wrong. I’m sure they all have their reasons for not following through with whatever it is they promised, but parents have got to fucking follow through. It’s funny that after a few temper tantrums and fits, the kids I watch eventually just accept what I’m saying. I do not have any magic tricks, or special powers. I simply stick to my guns. No matter what. NO MATTER WHAT. If it really does mean ruining whatever plans we had for the day to teach the 1 kid out of the 3 or 4 or however many, that his/her behavior is NOT ACCEPTABLE, then so be it. If anything it’ll be a lesson for the rest of them as well that I’m not going to put up with that bad behavior, and that there will be consequences. 

I probably sound like a crazy lunatic right now, and that’s okay. If crazy lunatic means your child listens to me, sleeps well, eats well and is over all better suited for his little life…then call me a crazy lunatic. I can’t articulate how many times a parent has said “I don’t know how you get (insert childs name here) to eat so well! She doesn’t even stand up on the chair while she’s eating!” “We need to have you here for dinners more often if it means that little Johnny will eat his vegetables!” “I don’t know why he naps for you, he never naps for us!” and so on. Like I said: I claim no magical tricks or powers. I simply practice what I preach. No, it’s not always easy. There are days with sick children, interrupted schedules, and over all “WTF”s. But, on a broader scale these kids behave. For me. These kids sit still, tearless, in dentists chairs. They don’t cry or need soda to help make their medicine go down. They welcome naps. They welcome teeth brushing. They understand that no REALLY DOES mean no. It’s not like I walk in and these kids just start obeying me like sweet little angels. They try and fight me tooth and nail. I’ve been kicked, punched, shoved, pinched, bitten, screamed at, thrown up on from so much crying they actually projectiled their lunch because they had to take a nap, my chair kicked repeatedly on a car ride, and smacked. All of this behavior is then met with a STERN and I mean STERN talking to, and an appropriate consequence. After awhile, it seems to get through to them. And from then on we’re usually a-okay. 

My basic point in this whole rant/discussion is that I’m just trying to figure out WHY parents/guardians don’t follow these rules at least somewhat. Consistently. Sure, there are parents that do…but in every single nanny situation I have been in, these consistencies are non-existent. I’m pretty sure “Consistency” is a term these parents have never met. When these parents look at me and say “WOW, I can’t believe you got Little Lucas to do THAT!” I think “I can’t believe you CAN’T get him to do that”.

A child isn’t going to hate you because you put them in time out. They aren’t going to become serial killers because you forcefully talked to them. They won’t murder you in your sleep for turning the car around. And they certainly will not hold a grudge because you made them take a nap. Children are resilient. Children know what unconditional love truly means, and they will keep coming back for hugs. They will keep grabbing your face with both hands to give you big sloppy kisses (At least until they’re 6 or so… :( ) So don’t be afraid to follow through. Don’t be afraid to let them cry it out at nap time, or time outs. Don’t be afraid to PUNISH them.  Consistency is KEY with children. I know it’s frustrating, daunting, painful, annoying, and downright inconvenient at times….but it WORKS. It will make trips of all kinds more enjoyable, meal times less messy, nap times longer, and faces full of more smiles than tears. 

 

Agree with what you want, disagree with even more. But you cannot argue three things: 

1. Eating well is good

2. Sleeping well is better

3. Discipline is best

10 minutes in time out if you disagree!

A Little More Than Half Way Through Week 1 of Skinny Snowman Challenge

I really cannot express how much I am thankful for the Skinny Snowman Challenge from Brooke: Not on a Diet!
 I am on the 5th Day of the challenge and I feel incredible. It’s been challenging me to drink my water, get in lots of fruits and veggies (far more than I usually do), track my food (something I haven’t done in weeks) and really just be back on the WW game. I was SLOWLY sort of slipping away from the plan, but this challenge got me back on.

Here are some of the new recipes I’ve made this week:

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Slow Cooker Cabbage Roll. I found this on http://www.yummly.com

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Roasted Autumn Vegetable Toss: This recipe can be found on the Weight Watchers website. If you’re not a member you can just google it and it should come up for you anyways.

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Slow Cooker Buffalo Chicken (This is actually cooking right now!) This can be found on http://www.emilybites.com

I am nowhere NEAR computer literate, so I did my best to link the photos themselves to their respective sources. So you can try to click on them,  not sure if they will work!

Anyhow, I can vouch for the first two recipes as being DELICIOUS. The third on certainly smells amazing, and I’m not sure how you can go wrong with wing sauce, ranch, and chicken, so it’s probably going to be scrumptious.

I didn’t get to post yesterday for Weigh In Wednesday, but I was down .6! I don’t know how I survived the Thanksgiving Holiday (Even with all the healthy cooking I did, I still consumed my fair share! I even drank close to a bottle of White Zin on Friday night, and stopped for a TEN INCH wawa turkey gobbler…ugh…it’s limited edition, so that’s okay. Right?

Either way, I came out with a LOSS, which is a GAIN of awesome in my book. I am now 191.8 and feeling GREAT. I got in a little work out today with the boy I nanny for, and he even ran with me, some. I was constantly moving for at LEAST one hour today, and we were both drenched in sweat by the time we got to the car.
He’s taking a VERY early nap currently. All that running around really wore him out.

 

 

 

 

How was everyone’s Thanksgiving?

Hard.

Yesterday was rough. Surprisingly though, I did not go crazy eating wise. I was actually ridiculously awesome considering the amount of stress I was under.
As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, I had all three boys I nanny for yesterday. Typically I have the older two for about an hour in the morning, and then it’s just Ben and I for the rest of my ten hour day.
I have dealt with kids of all ages, sizes, backgrounds, and genders. Never have I ever experienced children who behave as badly as these three together do. Adding a third to the mix really makes a difference. And the only time two is ok is when it’s the youngest, Ben, and one of the oldest. Both of the olde boys? Forget it. From the moment their little devil angel eyes open their bickering begins. Who’s getting a shower first? Who got the red bowl? Who has the other ones Spider-Man toy? Who hit who? Etc. It literally goes on and on and on like this until they’re on the bus.
My entire weekend was constantly sprinkled with the reminder to myself I would have all three come Monday, due to Veterans Day. I just had to block it out of my mind completely.
It was about ten times worse than what I had imagined. I’ve never experienced children who listened worse than these three together. It’s literally as if I do not exist to them. When I’m speaking they 100% ignore me. I have to repeat myself AT A MINIMUM of a dozen times before they will finally look at me, and another dozen before they finally move. How my cousin does it every single day I will never know. I guess the power of a mother’s love is really really strong. Really. I broke down around 10am. I quite literally bawled my eyes out to the point that I couldn’t breathe. Thankfully the three of them were busy trying to kill each other in the front yard so they were unaware of my break down.
Rule # 87 in the nanny code: Do whatever it takes to never let a child see you cry, it breaks their hearts and yours.
I just cried and cried. It wasn’t so much their fault as it was a compounding of being in school full time, working full time for very little pay (far less than what I made at my previous job with a not-yet-talking 1 year old), having a house with three dogs and a man who works so very hard to keep the roof over our heads and never feeling like I’m doing ENOUGH (even though Joey reminds me on a daily basis just how much I DO and how thankful he is, I just beat myself up about not being able to help out financially as well as I had been), along with dealing with these three boys. It just broke me yesterday. I couldn’t handle it, and so I cried like a small child. Joey, the amazing man that he is, fixed it all, like usual. He sweetly calmed me down as much as possible over the phone. He has such a way of balancing out my craziness. Once I cried I felt like a hundred bricks had been lifted off my shoulders. I got a clearer head and even got some homework done while the boys were watching a movie, one of them was napping thank goodness.
My day began at 6am and didn’t end until I walked in the door at almost 10pm. Too many of my days are like this and I’m sorry, but I just won’t ever be okay with that.
I have 6ish more months to go and ill be done with school and able to get a big girl job and be finished with nannying once and for all. It may take me through to summer to find one, but I am determined to do so. Being a nanny is the perfect job to do while going to school. If you watch nap-taking aged children it’s even better, because you can focus 100% of your time and energy on them while they’re awake and get your stuff done while they sleep. I’ve thankfully always had the pleasure of nannying for children who sleep, or who at least know how to have quiet time, so I’ve been blessed.
I don’t know how people work regular full time jobs and go to school, it’s exhausting just to do this.
Either way, the point in all of this is that I survived yesterday. I came home and the house was spotless, Joey had waited up for me, and all was good and perfect.
Today I only have two boys, as one is sick and staying home, so it’ll be a good day. At least until 1, when the third comes home from early dismissal.
The great thing about all of this is that I have no homework due this week, at all. I just have to make it to Thursday. And then I can have a relaxing and perfect weekend.

Thursday, Thursday, Thursday.

Is it Thursday yet?

60 pounds, Thanksgiving, and Rowdy Boys

I did it ya’ll! I hit my 60 pounds lost, finally! I can’t tell you all how surprised/relieved/excited I was/still am. It’s really amazing that in just one year and two weeks I managed to lose 60 lbs! I’m less than 30 lbs from WW desired weight, and 13 from my own desired weight. I’m now 193.6 and feeling amazing! I never even believed it was possible to be this low, and never dreamt last year that I would even stick with WW, but look who’s talking now.
I also think I may have had another weight shift, if those even exist. When I first started on this journey, my best friend Brittany, who’s lost over 100 lbs, told me about all the different things to expect. She said there’s going to be times where you’ve experienced a great loss in lbs, and not see a damn bit of difference. And then all of a sudden it’s like your body realizes and sucks itself in and you wake up one morning and its like you’ve changed over night. This has happened a handful of times to me and I gotta tell ya, it’s awesome! Especially when you’re in the beginning stages and really feeling down about not seeing a difference.
My overnight change happened when I woke up Saturday. I was getting ready to go to the grocery store and I grabbed a button up flannel I have that I’ve never ever ever been able to have come close to buttoning up. I was going to wear it over a tank top like I usually do. And it’s like it just was all of a sudden tailored to me and buttoned up with no issue whatsoever. And then I noticed that my whole body had kind of sucked in. Everywhere. It’s always hard to believe when these little shifts happen because they’re almost like an illusion. But when clothes are fitting you easier there is no illusion. When I got home from the store I was feeling a little froggy and decided to try on my bikini. I bought this little polka dotted fifties style bikini when I had lost about 30 lbs, it was a few months to summer and I figured by then it would look good.
It did not. The bottoms come up over your belly button, so you’d think that would be good for some extra suckage, but all that did was cut in at my waist even tighter an my stomach was still hanging over the top.
Then there’s the top of the suit. It my girls were hanging out left and right, bottom, and top. Terrible. I wore it once or twice when summer came, but it was extremely nerve wracking to move around in because I was afraid that any moment my girls were gonna make an appearance. Every move I made was awkward and uncomfortable.
I stuck to a one piece that Brittany had lent me for the majority of the summer and was fine with that.
But Saturday I wanted to see now what it would look like. I nervously reached into my closet for my box of summer items. I sifted though shorts, cover ups, and other miscellaneous summer doodads, and began to see the polka dots peering out at me. It was like ripping off a band aid. I just changed as quickly as possible and looked in the mirror. And holy smokes. HOLY SMOKES. Literally, smoke was radiating off my ridiculously hot bod.
Sike. I’m not that cocky or confident. But my body in that suit has done a 180 since summer. My stomach was flat above the top instead of hanging over, my two now-little friends were covered, and the suit was just gently resting on my waist in stead of cutting into me.
I took about 100 pictures and just laid in my bed admiring them all like a weirdo. I finally realized I was being super creepy and changed once again.
I felt awesome for the rest of the day, and even still today.
The point is that even if you’re not SEEING the fruits of your labor it doesn’t mean they’re not on their way. Your body really does need time to adjust to your weight loss. It’s a bit of a slow poke and if you have the patience it’ll show you what a great job you’re doing. I think that’s one of the biggest reasons people fail on “diets” is because they’re not seeing results fast enough. If only it were a requirement for everyone to join weight watchers. Can you picture how much more room there’d be in the world? I kid, I kid. But really….

In thanksgiving news: Saturdays grocery adventure was for thanksgiving items, among regular stuff. I picked up all kinds if goodies. Here is my menu, it’s pretty traditional as far as thanksgivings go around here.

A 15 lb turkey
An 18$ ham, however many lbs it is
Stuffing (which is the only item on my menu that I just couldn’t skimp on nutritional value. I have only ever made boxed kind, and this will be somewhat more homemade but ill use as many nonfat/light ingredients as possible)
Cranberry sauce. But instead of jellies I bought the whole berry. Nutritional value is identical here, but the whole berry at least provide some fiber.
Green bean casserole. I bought no salt added French cut green beans, fat free cream of mushroom soup, and I will be making my own crunchy onion topping. This dish is pretty okay in it’s regular style BUT the crunchy onions on top are what get you. And I used to use the whole can of fried onions! So this year I set out for a recipe to make my own without frying and I hope it works out.
Fauxtatoes. This one is going to be interesting. It involves cauliflower and cannelloni beans. Ill let you know how it works, but from pictures I’ve seen you can’t tell the difference in looks. Hopefully gravy can cover up any kind of doubts people may have. Gravy works miracles.
I did buy regular ol’gravy, but I just won’t be using as much. Maybe ill get feisty and look up a healthier version. Who knows!
Then there will be no salt added corn.
Sweet potato casserole. This is going to be interesting. This is my fathers favorite dish, so it’s really going to have to be good. He likes it with the brown sugar and marshmallows and all that. Mine isn’t going to have that. Sweet potatoes are SO sweet on their own! I think the recipe I found MAY call for a bit of brown sugar, but just a sprinkling. Then instead of marshmallows, it will be topped with pecans. I’m excited!
Then last, but definitely 100% not least, there’s the desserts. Yea plural.
Pumpkin cheesecake! I made this last year and it was a hit. It’s a recipe I found that involves reduced fat vanilla wafers as the crust, and 1/3 the fat and fat free cream cheese. I believe it’s two fat free and 3 1/3 of the fat packages of cream cheese, and of course natural pumpkin. It’s so good you can’t tell the difference.
And then good old pumpkin pie. I’m using a weight watchers recipe, and I think phyllo dough plays a part in the crust and its definitely way better points wise. Only 4 instead of 10!
I will probably be buying a sugar free apple pie, simply because I’m certainly not a baker whatsoever and I think two pies is enough to send me over the edge as far as my baking skills go.
There will also be breyers fat free ice cream, which if you haven’t tried yet you must! Seriously NOONE knows the difference, I wouldn’t even. It’s that good I swear.

I’m hoping that everything goes off without a hitch. I haven’t quite worked out how I’m going to cook both the turkey and the ham? I only have one oven. But I think if I get the the turkey in soon enough ill have time after its cooked to get the ham done before people arrive. I know the ham is fully cooked but it still has a bit of time to bake.
My mother will be in Florida during the holiday which really sucks and is quadruple lame sauce but whatever. So my dad will be celebrating with us. Joes family is invited but you can’t be too sure with his parents because they typically call on the day of with some reason they can’t make it. I don’t mean to speak badly of them, and truly I’m not, because I’m telling the truth. 9x out of 10 they cancel. And if they do show up they have to leave very early for whatever reason. So it may end up just being Joey, my dad, and myself. My older brother Eric may join us as well. My other two brothers are married and typically spend the holidays with their in laws for the most of it, and since my mom won’t be around it kind of splits everything up. Last year she cooked a week ahead so that she could have everyone together and so that they could all spend time at one place and not have to drive to two different houses for two different dinners with all the kids. But this year I don’t think she’s doing that.
I hope joeys parents do make it because he’s been talking a lot recently about how his whole family used to get together a lot for dinners and that sort of things and he misses it, naturally. I hoped that by volunteering to host that it would take the burden, financially, off of them from having to worry about it and that we could just all enjoy each others company. So cross your fingers everyone!

This post is getting extremely lengthy but I have more thing to talk about.
Yesterday Joey had some friends over, which meant me compulsively cleaning every inch of the house. I even moved our entire bed and vacuumed under there, I dusted the LEGS of our end tables, and steam cleaned all the carpet. Which is our whole house. He could not understand why I was so intent about cleaning things that noone would even see, but it’s the only way I can feel comfortable about having people over. Our house is pretty much always tidy and ready for visitors, but when there’s multiple people over I just feel like that’s more eyes to catch whatever things we have literally swept under the rug.
Along with doing all of that cleaning I also managed to lay out a pretty sweet spread of food. With joeys help of course. Together we accomplished a 3 lb beef brisket slow cooked for 8 hours, which turned out to be incredibly amazing. Two pizzas. HOMEMADE. Joey makes the BESt pizza. It’s whole wheat dough, fat free mozzarella, a tomato sauce, and turkey pepperoni. It always tastes so much better than delivery or digiorno, and I’m just not saying that because I love the cook! Pizza always turns my stomach these days, whether its from all the grease or the cheese I’m not sure. But his pizza is to die! I also made a five layer dip with fat free refried beans, fat free sour cream, weight watchers Mexican cheese, salsa, and wholey guacamole. This was so yum! There was also a cheese as turkey pepperoni tray with crackers. A lot of people showed up and it was really awesome to just have a bunch of our friends over. There was an eagles/Dallas game on, and joeys a Dallas fan all the way, so it was interesting to hear all the shouting but this time from two sides.
Everyone loved the food and noone even knew it was better for you!

Okay I really can’t go on anymore. I’m sitting at work waiting on the boys to wake up, while hoping they stay asleep all day since they have off from school. It’s going to be an awful nightmare with all three today. I’m honestly getting sick to my stomach even thinking about it.
Wish me luck?

Well, that was fun.

This is really hard for me to do, but I need to do it so that later on this week when I most likely see the scales tip over, I know why. I cannot make any excuses, I just have to put it all out there and accept it and move on. Here goes:

Friday night: I ended up going out with Joey and Brittany to Applebee’s. My plan was to eat one of their Weight Watchers menu items. But I ended up going for the Black and Bleu burger with fries, chips and salsa, one mozzarella stick, and a Bloody Mary. First of all, what the fack?!? I don’t even LIKE BLEU CHEESE. I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE thought that a bleu cheese burger would taste anywhere near good. These are some of the things I’ve learned on my weight loss journey. My taste buds are working against me. Before WW, I HATED cake, especially birthday cake, and now all of a sudden I crave it nonstop. Now this? Ugh. It’s like my body just wants me to fuck up. Anyway, after that little fiasco, I vowed to do better the rest of the weekend.

FAT chance. Saturday: I actually did really well all day Saturday, and I even went running with my sister in law. I had a smart ones for lunch, a salad for dinner, and went to Joey’s football game (which they WON btw! WOO HOO go Delco Cowboys!). Then I headed to Joey’s show, where I also vowed NOT to drink. But I did. First it was a vodka redbull, then a vodka sprite and grenadine, then another, then some crazy drink that I ended up not even finishing because I was way too hammered by this point. I’m a total 2 pounder, I know. While inebriated I decided that a diner would be a nice place to eat. I ended up ordering french onion soup, pancakes, spicy hot sausage, and sausage gravy and biscuits. UGH. I ate like 1/4 of the sausage, maybe one pancake, the 2 biscuits with gravy, and all of the soup. After that, I went home and passed the fug out.

Sunday: My day started out with a SPLITTING headache, and I laid around for a decent part of the day. Around 2 I headed to my parents and hung out with my mom. Where I proceeded to eat about half a bag of spicy doritos, 2 biscuits, some goldfish, a plate of spaghetti, and a pickle. Then I got home and about 2 hours later I was ready for some steak and corn on the cob. THEN I had some cool whip with graham cracker crumbs (albeit was FAT FREE cool whip, but whatevs)

Today: Thank God for work. I was absolutely dreading it, but it is the one thing that keeps me in line. While at work I constantly fill up this Copco® Eco-First Sierra Tumbler which is about 24 fl oz, with water, and drink it all day (I also pee all day). I always have a smart ones for lunch, and my snacks consist of nutri grain bars, park skim cheese sticks, and fruit. (I’m a full time nanny, and the people I work for are pretty good in the healthy food department so I don’t have too many temptations when I’m here). Joey usually cooks dinner on the nights I work, and he always cooks healthy. I just wish that my weekends were as predictable. I tell myself over and over that I’m going to eat right and I’m going to be okay, and I usually end up falling off of that path and going my own way. I’m really disappointed in myself because even on vacation I was better than I was this weekend.

I plan on hitting up the gym or at least running in the neighborhood when I get home tonight, and continuing my day as normal tomorrow. I do have off tomorrow, however I will just be hanging around at home. For whatever reason, during the week no matter what I do well. The weekend comes and I just go bonkers. Why?

I’m stressed about weigh in on Wednesday, but hopefully I can pull it off and just vow to do better this weekend. We have a memorial day weekend trip planned in Dewey at the end of this month and I’m really hoping to be under 200 by then. That’s 7.8 more pounds a way, and I just need to keep that in mind.

Heres to lots of water, smart ones, and running!